Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
