I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize