My brain says no but my pants say off.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So squirting runs in the family.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
