Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
