so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
