And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
