why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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