I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
