Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
