I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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