Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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