he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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