you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
