I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
