How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
