Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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