Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
