her vagine was all disorganized.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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