im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize