guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
