So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
