White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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