Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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