have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He better not be in your backpack
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
