Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
