i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
