we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
