I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
