we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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