Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
