sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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