Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize