i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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