i think my tv is drunk
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
