don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
