I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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