what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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