I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
