seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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