just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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