It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
