I just threw up on my dentist
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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