Umm I'm too high to move.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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