I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize