The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
