when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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