Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
