stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
