@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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