We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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