I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize