2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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