Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
