i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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