So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
