Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize