You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
