Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
