Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
