so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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