I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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