I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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