The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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