Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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