My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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