Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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