we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
