May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
They have beer where we have blood.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
