sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
