Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sorry my hands just texted you
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
