So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
