Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
