I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize