I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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