"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Pants are for mortals
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
