Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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